Welcome to Dirt Nap
It's the newsletter you never thought you needed on a topic you don't want to discuss
I have spent a lot of time thinking about death. My death, the death of friends and family, and death as a general topic. It’s a hybrid fascination and topic of endless, unanswerable questions for me. Every wake and funeral gives me a chance to rearrange my own plans in my head. No wake or funeral, but a memorial service. Cremated, though I really don’t care what happens after that. (I used to think about wanting my ashes spread somewhere, but I keep thinking about the scene in The Big Lebowski where they scatter Donny’s ashes.) I know the music I want (I’d love to hire a second line but that’s sort of impractical in Syracuse.).
(I also have a more jaded look at death due to its prevalence in my life. The more time you spend at funeral homes, the more the subject fucks with your head.)
Anyhow, thinking about death helps me pass the time in church or while waiting in the receiving line at calling hours. I update my theoretical plans and wrestle with the questions I can’t answer. So, rather than keep that all in my head, I’ve decided to share that with others.
You’re welcome.
Dirt Nap is inspired by The Small Bow, A.J. Daulerio’s newsletter about addiction. I’ve been reading The Small Bow for about a year now and, though I am not living with an addiction, I have found A.J.’s journey with mental health to be interesting. You’ll remember him as the former editor of Gawker and Deadspin. He has chronicled his ups and downs in sobriety, the road to getting sober, and the shrapnel he has taken along the way. More importantly, he has built a community around the topic. I’m proud to say that I’m a donor to his project.
It was triggered by the death of my father-in-law in June. We had a long streak in our family without anyone dying; his passing brought back some memories, rekindled some thoughts, and presented new challenges as we confronted death as parents for the first time.
A quick note.
If you have experienced death in your world, go talk to someone. Preferably a mental health professional, but start with a spouse or friend or someone capable of coherent thought. This newsletter is not intended to replace genuine mental health care from a professional.
We’re going to run the 988 logo at the bottom of every edition because that’s important too.
About the name…
Dirt nap is slang for dead and buried. The Concise New Partridge Dictionary of Slang and Unconventional English puts its origin as 1981, which sounds about right. An undignified term from an undignified age. But, it’s short and to the point, and what we’re going to call this collection of fractured thoughts, essays, interviews and other offerings about the topic of dying.
My goal is to publish every other week since it will likely take me that long to write an entry. I hope you’ll find it as useful as it is (hopefully) cathartic for me.
And finally…
If you know of someone that might be interested in receiving this newsletter, feel free to forward this to them. The more, the merrier.